Recently, my attention turned to this topic. Many people in my life have told me about their own suffering from the mental and emotional abuse they’ve experienced. I know what that’s like because it’s no secret of what I’ve gone through in my life. Humans just want to be loved, appreciated, and felt cared for. When someone we don’t know hurts us, it’s disappointing. However, when someone we love hurts us we can shatter.
The problem is that they don’t always know they’re hurting us, and sometimes they won’t know for a while. Mainly because we’re so scared of hurting them we won’t tell them about the hurt that we’re suffering. These people will tell us how worthless we are and how we can’t do anything right. Sometimes they use those exact words, but other times they dance around them. Other times it’s a slower type of abuse that we don’t notice at first. Eventually, it takes our minds over and before we know it, we’re something that’s broken.
For some, we self-destruct. Believing those things causes us to continue to hurt ourselves and the ones around us because that’s “All we’re good for.” People never realize they’re so much better than that. I’ve had the unfortunate circumstance of heartbreak recently. Someone I loved so deeply hurt me and I’m still in the process forgiveness and trying to get through the day without crying.
I am glad to say that I didn’t self-destruct this time. I think it’s because I had finally found something to live for and someone to care about. Even though I was hurt, I’m incapable of being mad at the person. I won’t lie, it’s frustrating because I want to be. I know I should, but I can’t.
I’m putting two poems up tonight. I wrote them in the last couple of days. It’s the lessons that I’ve learned through my experiences, faith, and prayer that have gotten me through even my darkest moments. I’m not sure how many will read all of this. Maybe some will read the first few paragraphs and get bored, or others won’t read it at all. But I hope that the one I want to read it will.
Don’t you know you’re beautiful
If you feel you are worthless
because of the words of others,
remember that those words are older than you.
They’ve been traveling for some time now.
You are not their first stop,
and you aren’t their last.
Forgiveness and Forgetting
Forgiveness is not the act of
Forgetting what they did.
It’s not for them to feel better,
Nor is it an obligation.
Forgiveness is the act of letting go
Of the pain, they caused so that
You can move on and blossom into the
Butterfly you are.
And now I want you to think of every single person who has ever hurt you. What did they say? How did it make you feel? And now ask yourself, who are they to you?
Picture Via National Geographic Kids.