When I was younger
I wanted to go where the wind took me.
I flowed with the water
And always wanted to see what
Was behind each corner.
Now, I run
Leaving the world behind.
I swim, making my own current
And I don’t wonder what’s around
Every corner because I already know.
I created it.
Life doesn’t happen to you,
You happen to it.
Picture via www.youtube.com
“The rainbow went away,” I said.
My younger self put her hand on my shoulder.
“Sometimes they do that,
But they always come back.”
Then we sat and watched as
The world began to cry.
Picture via healthymindsmeditation.com
For I won’t be writing about you any longer.
When memories come, I won’t hold my pen
And when I see them,
No ink will stain these pages
Like tears once stained my pillows.
The darkness won’t follow me
Like it did when the emptiness settled in my heart.
It was in this moment:
Realizing how I was fine until I met you
And I’ve been fine without you.
It’s a harsh truth for you,
But a blissful reality to me.
Picture via tecmundo.com.br
Memories tend to flood back at times when they’re unwanted. I’ve talked about emotional and physical pain before. How it doesn’t go away even though the world tells you it’s supposed to. I’ve learned a lot about pain (especially in this last year) and how the most important part of healing is time. We live in a world where everyone wants everything now. It doesn’t matter what it is. They need to love you now. They need to give you what you want now. Fame and success have to happen now. There’s little room for hard work, perseverance, and time.
Which is part of the reason that healing takes so long for people. They want to shut out their pain when the best thing to do is let it in. You allow yourself to hurt for a day or two, and then begin moving on no matter how hard it is. You get up and do your daily activities like you always do. Eventually, it doesn’t hurt anymore. When I knew that I had to do this, I was reluctant. Healing always took so long for me (I was one of those people). However, when I allowed it to happen it seemed to not take as long.
You can’t forget what happened or the person that caused it, but you can move on with your life. And when those memories do pop up in your head, you can remember them without feeling angry or sorrowful. Time heals all wounds no matter how deep.
At the end of it all,
The worst part was losing me.
Looking at my room, family, dog, and reflection
As though I’m living in someone else’s life,
And not knowing the difference between
Reality and a dream.
Picture via Los Angeles Times