Belgian Boys Waffle

This month’s Singlesswag crate box came with my first snack, the Belgium Boys Waffle. Working for Waffle House has given me a love of waffles that I never had before. You can imagine my face when I saw the snack in the box. First, I want to talk about the adorable packaging.


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Pink is my favorite color. One of the reasons is because it naturally makes you happier when you see it, and this design really catches the eye. The picture of the waffle on the front looks really tasty, so you already have your mouth-watering for what’s inside.

Next, the waffle itself wasn’t what I was expecting. I thought it’d be more of a cracker, but instead, it was soft like a regular waffle. It also had a light sprinkle of very fine sugar that gave it a sweeter taste. The waffle was more filling than a lot of the protein bars that I’ve had, so I think it’d make a great snack to get you through until your next meal.


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You can get a box of 20 from Just click here. They come in regular and chocolate. I think they taste incredible, and I’m super happy to have discovered them.

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Black Panther

I went to see the Black Panther movie yesterday, and honestly, I loved it. Before seeing it, I was skeptical because I didn’t know much about the panther. Seeing him appear in Civil War confused me because of how random it seemed. However, I think Marvel did very well in showing who he is, where he comes from, and the role it all plays within the Avengers. As well as introducing new characters and following a great storyline with a climax and resolution.

Wakanda is beautiful and so is the technology. The simulations that Panther’s sister and the agent do to control the car and the plane from other parts of the world were unreal. The weapons and even the trains were mind-blowing. (Spoiler alert) Not to mention, I’m curious to see how Black Panther’s decision to share Wakanda’s technology with the rest of the world will impact the Marvel universe. I’m also very curious to see what the Winter Soldier is doing with Panther’s sister in that little village.

If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend doing so. It was very different from the rest of the movies which I found refreshing. It’s always exciting to see a Marvel movie, but it was more exciting to have something different.

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Poetry: I’ll Change

When I realized how long it’d been since I’d posted something, I was disappointed in myself. To everyone who’s been waiting around for my next post, I apologize wholeheartedly. A few quick updates: My book, Cupcakes and Rainbows, has done well. I’ve gotten a lot of great feedback from it that’s inspired me so much. Thanks to everyone who’s supported me through the process. My next poetry book, The Lioness, will be released soon.

Now to the good stuff. I know we’ve all heard the term, “I’ll change.” It lifts us up when we hear it, and nothing can stop us from giving the benefit of the doubt. Why? Because we love the person we’re with and we want to believe that nothing can shake that love. We want to believe that we’re this magical person that he/she can’t live without and do anything for.

The reality is that we’re not and there’s nothing magical about us. Yes, we’re beautiful, charming, and genuinely good people who will treat them like kings/queens and worship the ground they walk on. Believe it or not, that isn’t enough. There are no words that I can say to explain why this is the reality we live in. I’d love to live in a world where people tried their hardest to hold onto what they love, but we just don’t.

In fact, when you meet someone who does cherish what they have it’s because they’ve already lost something good due to their actions (or lack thereof) and know the pain. The problem with these people is that they don’t believe that you’ll leave them, so the chances of them changing is slim. These people get comfortable and don’t see what’s in front of them.

Yes, one day they’ll turn into the person you know they can be, but not while they’re with you. You don’t deserve to be that guy or girl waiting around for this change, and by the time they do you’ll be burned out. There will be nothing left for you there. Knowing this, why would you stay?

I’ll Change

I believed you the first dozen times
And then my encouraging smile and benefit of the doubt
Turned into a repeating chorus of, “When?”

When I’m numb? When I don’t love you?
When there’s nothing left for me here?
When I’ve left you?

I love you,
But not as much as I love myself.
In the time it’ll take for you to change,
I’ll be destroyed
And I refuse to burn again.

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As it all fades

Forgive me,
For I won’t be writing about you any longer.
When memories come, I won’t hold my pen
And when I see them,
No ink will stain these pages
Like tears once stained my pillows.
The darkness won’t follow me
Like it did when the emptiness settled in my heart.
It was in this moment:
Realizing how I was fine until I met you
And I’ve been fine without you.
It’s a harsh truth for you,
But a blissful reality to me.

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Memories tend to flood back at times when they’re unwanted. I’ve talked about emotional and physical pain before. How it doesn’t go away even though the world tells you it’s supposed to. I’ve learned a lot about pain (especially in this last year) and how the most important part of healing is time. We live in a world where everyone wants everything now. It doesn’t matter what it is. They need to love you now. They need to give you what you want now. Fame and success have to happen now. There’s little room for hard work, perseverance, and time.

Which is part of the reason that healing takes so long for people. They want to shut out their pain when the best thing to do is let it in. You allow yourself to hurt for a day or two, and then begin moving on no matter how hard it is. You get up and do your daily activities like you always do. Eventually, it doesn’t hurt anymore. When I knew that I had to do this, I was reluctant. Healing always took so long for me (I was one of those people). However, when I allowed it to happen it seemed to not take as long.

You can’t forget what happened or the person that caused it, but you can move on with your life. And when those memories do pop up in your head, you can remember them without feeling angry or sorrowful. Time heals all wounds no matter how deep.

At the end of it all,
The worst part was losing me.
Looking at my room, family, dog, and reflection
As though I’m living in someone else’s life,
And not knowing the difference between
Reality and a dream.

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“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” – Says everyone without a clue.

Don’t get me wrong, I used to be one of the people who said this. I always viewed it as an inspirational quote that could help people who are going through a hard time. That was until I woke up one day and asked, “When am I going to become the strong person that everyone says I’ll be?”

What comes to my mind when I put that quote and my situations together is that I’ll move on and forget about it. For some of my situations, it’s been two years, four years, ten years plus since incidents happened. I still live my life in fear of them happening again and scared I’ll see certain people. Does that sound like moving on to you?

People are under this impression that you grieve, heal, move on, and it never affects you again. You forget about it and it’s like it never happened. That’s the idea of a “Strong” person. That isn’t real. If this is what defines a strong person then there’s no such thing.

The reason is that the world doesn’t stop for anything. Time continues to go by, babies are born, elderly dies and everyone’s’ lives continue. You still have to get up in the morning, go to work, pay bills, provide for your family, and do things that involve life. Just because you’re abused, assaulted, mistreated, let down, or stressed out, doesn’t mean anything. That sounds heartless, but it’s the truth. Life doesn’t care about what you look like, where you’re from, or what religion you are. It’s just hard.

I’m going to tell you something you may not like. Any situation that affects you in this way isn’t something you’ll move on from. Your life will always be affected. Your relationships with people, your workplace, your environment, family, and even yourself. In the Walking Dead Andrea tells a suicidal Beth, “The pain doesn’t go away, you just make room for it.”

If I use the word strong to describe someone that’s been through a traumatic experience, It’s going to be like this. A strong person is someone who made themselves wake up in the morning and go to work instead of calling out and laying in bed. The strong person immersed themselves in an activity to keep their mind busy while the other person dwelled on it constantly. A strong person realized the world is turning whether they want it to, so they continued to turn with it.

When you’re strong, you know that the pain will probably never go away. However, you make sure you do your best not to let it affect your life in a negative way. When it does, you catch it and change the circumstances immediately. You don’t play the “woe is me” card. You don’t use what happened as a crutch to say or o whatever you want.

I’ve been through a lot for someone my age and I’ve seen a lot from other people. Throughout my childhood and into my adult life I’ve had to deal with things I shouldn’t have. Some of my relationships weren’t very good. One, in particular, gave me a form of PTSD that still affects me now. I played the “Woe is me” card, I used it as a crutch to explain the way I am with the “Help isn’t possible” attitude.

When I asked myself why I wasn’t the strong person everyone said I’d be, I realized it’s because I’m still dwelling on it. So I stopped and chose to turn with it. Then I asked why the pain wouldn’t leave and found out that it never would. I’d just make room for it and live day-to-day trying my best to keep it together.

In this world, people go to war and kill women and children soldiers. People get raped and children get abducted. Women and men suffer from abuse, parents mistreat and neglect their kids, and there are more lies flying around than there are drops of water in an ocean. This world is a really crappy place.

I’ve found that when I came to accept this about the world and my life, I got peace. It’s ironic that accepting the idea of never going back to the way things used to be was mentally and emotionally freeing. So this week’s poem is about my realization of what a strong person really is versus what everyone else thinks it is. It’s a traumatic situation in my life that led me down a path that wasn’t pretty. I also threw in a poem by Emily Dickinson that helped me with this.

You say “What doesn’t kill you” like death is only physical

The stranger said, “You’re lucky he didn’t kill you”
Oh, but he did.
You see, I’m still here in front of you speaking.
But if you look at my chest, there’s still a hole
From where he reached in and tore my heart out.

If you look close enough, you’ll read his words
That he tattooed all over my body and
The bruises left from his hate.
To you, I look normal.
But to me, I’m changed forever.

You say I’m lucky he didn’t kill me,
But he did.
Just because I’m breathing,
Doesn’t mean I’m alive.

My life closed twice before its close

My life closed twice before its close—
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me

So huge, so hopeless to conceive
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.

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Something Meaningful

Something has really annoyed me this week. I say this week even though it’s gotten on my nerves many times. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m not a loud or obnoxious person. I don’t say much and I choose not to raise my voice. When I explain this as being just the way I am, people seem to understand. However, most people call me shy or timid. Why is this?

Why is it when someone isn’t loud they’re automatically shy? When I think of shy, the word scared comes to mind. I think of the times when children hide behind their parent’s legs instead of saying hi to the stranger. Parents blow this off as being shy. I’m most definitely not hiding behind anyone’s legs, nor am I afraid of talking.

In fact, I’m the opposite. Talking is something that I’m best at. I talk about the weather and how I love rainy days more than the sunshine. I also talk about my favorite TV shows and movies. Food, music, animals, and which cleaning product is better or worse for the surface you’re needing to clean. I talk about the most mundane things and even deeper and more intellectual subjects.

The difference between what society considers outgoing and social butterfly is that when it comes to my conversations, I don’t just have them randomly. I don’t just start talking about subjects that don’t matter and run my mouth like a rat on a wheel. When I say something, I want it to be meaningful. Not a pile of gibberish that is spoken just to hear what my voice sounds like. I know what it sounds like. I’ve had this voice for twenty-three years.

So this week’s poem isn’t about love or lust or envy. It isn’t about my faith nor heartbreak. This week’s poem is about exactly what I’m talking about. It’s a poem I wrote recently when this subject started to matter to me. I can’t stand stereotypes, nor can I stand someone judging another person when they don’t even know them.

Don’t mistake my quiet voice,
Or my silence as fear.
I’m not afraid of sound,
Nor am I afraid of people.
It isn’t fear that silences me.
It isn’t people that quiet me.
I’m not shy nor am I timid.
I’m my own person
Who just so happens to not say much.
Not because I’m choking on my words.
Not because my heart is beating out my chest.
But because I’m choosing not to.
I say only what I want to say.
And that’s good enough for me.

– If there’s anything that I want people to remember, it’s that I had a lot to say in so little words.

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The remake of IT by Stephen King came out recently and being the fan that I am, I had to go see it. Part of me was a little skeptical because of it being a remake, but I was absolutely blown away. Bill Skarsgard’s performance of IT was too good for its own good. The beginning scene with Georgie blew away the originals’ by a long shot. I actually had to cover my eyes.


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It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the original, but I think the remake showed more of IT in a gruesome and cruel way. Before I saw the movie I compared both Tim Curry’s IT and Bill Skarsgard’s IT. First, I thought the new one looked stupid. I didn’t think he looked scary, nor did I think he looked inviting. The whole point of IT was to look inviting to children. Curry’s portrayal looked way more inviting to me. Then I saw the beginning scene and knew I’d be having nightmares for the next week.


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I don’t know if it’s the smile, the big blue eyes, or the way he talked to Georgie that was creepy. Maybe it’s a mixture of both. All I know is that when I watch the movie again, I’ll have to skip over that part.

Even though IT as the clown was creepy, he wasn’t as bad as the fears he’d appear as. Beverly’s bloody scene in the bathroom was pretty crazy. I thought IT was going to pull her down the sink drain. Another really good scene was when Ben’s in the library and the headless guy chases him around. I don’t know about anyone else but if I saw a red balloon go by and it’s obvious no one else did, I’m not following it. I’m not after the trail of Easter eggs when it’s not Easter, and I’m not going into rooms I don’t belong in. That’s just me, though, and we can’t all be like that. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a movie/book.

Despite that most people hate when movie remakes come out (mainly because of the cool graphics that’s added), this remake was really good. I can relate it to Carrie in the sense that all of them were great. The graphics added to IT were just incredible. It wasn’t too much or too little, either. They did a really good job at making it look the time period that the story takes place.

I really liked the chemistry between all the actors. I’m usually not into movies or TV shows that surround children. The storylines and other things that I look for in my entertainment don’t involve kids very much. However, these children outdid themselves in their parts and really made the movie. I especially liked Finn Wolfhard’s portrayal of Richie. I’ve become a huge fan of a child actor for the first time and will be watching everything he’s in for the rest of my life/his acting career.

Richie is my favorite one out of the bunch. I feel like he’s the Ryuk of Death Note. The character that says what the viewer is thinking the entire time. Even though I’m not a fan of F-bombs, they placed Richie’s’ perfectly throughout the entire film. He was one of the last boys to be attacked by IT. I think that was because his fear was clowns. If all IT had to do was show up as himself that wouldn’t be as fun. I looked forward to seeing how IT would scare him and was very impressed by the results. Of course, I can’t tell what it was so you’ll just have to see.

Overall, IT was a fantastic movie and the makers did an incredible job. I now know why Stephen King is so proud of it. It’s really exciting to know that there will be a sequel which is a better idea. You can’t fit a 1,200-page book into two and a half hours.

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"Success doesn't start with what others can do for you or if your talent will be discovered. It starts with you and what you'll do with your talent.